I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
