I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
