trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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