At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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