its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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