Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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