K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
