I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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