woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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