take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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