i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
