im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
