I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
