Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize