I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
