When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
