she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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