She is in my trunk
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
