i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
