She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
