I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
