i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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