She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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