I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
