So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
