I want to make a zoo with you.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
