no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
