Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
