i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize