Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Walk of Shame today included voting.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
