you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm at about main and main street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Why did my mother make you get naked?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize