it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
