I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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