I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
