just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
