I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize