that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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