yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize