Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She bit a glass in half.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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