It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
