After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
