I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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