My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
