It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize