what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
