Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
