Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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