Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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