my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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