If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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