My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
