I wish i was in the wii world.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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