you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
