friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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